Focus Forward :: Emotional and Mental Health :: Goal Setting and Motivation

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Focus Forward
by author Michelle Biton, MSc, and Sabitri Ghosh

Though sixty-one percent of adults make New Year’s resolutions, very few–between five and 15 percent–actually see them through to completion. Why do so few of us actually stick to our resolutions? It’s true that everyone has the capacity for change. But there is a big difference between wishing and wanting change and actually setting a realizable goal.

Simply telling yourself you’re going to quit smoking or shed excess pounds won’t get you anywhere. Imagine if you packed your suitcases and said you wanted to drive to California without having any idea of how to get there. For your New Year’s resolution to become a reality, you need direction and you need to be prepared.

Are You Ready To Change?

Before making a New Year’s resolution, decide if you’re ready to make a change. Change means giving up what you’re comfortable with, so step back a moment and examine yourself in the context of your life as objectively as you can. Weigh the pros and cons. With change, you need to be able to let go of the old, and open yourself to the new.

True change has five stages.

Awareness: I am aware that I need to change.
Emotion: I want to change.
Decision: I have decided to change.
Cognition: I know how to change.
Action: I am changing.

Too many of us jump to the action stage prematurely. Today’s society has taught us to look for, and to expect, a quick fix. Want to lose weight? Take a pill. Want to quit smoking? Put on a patch.

In reality, successful goal setting takes a lot of effort and forces us to ask ourselves questions when we may not like the answers. Goal setting is not about escapism or feeling comfortable. It’s about challenging ourselves and finding the missing piece of the puzzle that prevents us from changing.

In setting your personal agenda for 2003, work through these steps to make sure you have all the information you need.

Awareness: What do I Really Want?

Most people aren’t clear on what they truly want because they haven’t really thought it through. Build your goals on the basis of your values and write them to achieve clarity.
Be realistic and compassionate. Instead of instructing yourself to drop 20 pounds, resolve to replace the unhealthy foods in your diet with more wholesome ones. Put your resolutions in the present tense and frame them as positives, not negatives: e.g., :I am eating a healthier diet," instead of "I will not eat any more fattening foods."

Emotion/Decision: Why do I Want It?

Make sure you have a solid list of reasons to stiffen your resolve. Do you want to lose weight because you want to fit into your old clothes again? Because you want to walk into a room full of people without feeling self-conscious? Because your spouse wants you to?

Many goals we set for ourselves come from other people and their visions of us rather than from ourselves and our own vision of who we are.

This is one reason why we ultimately abandon our New Year’s resolutions.

You can’t waste time and energy trying to convince yourself that you need to change. To accomplish your goal, it must come from you, and you must truly own it.

Cognition: How am I Going to Achieve My Goal?

Most people who fail at achieving their goal didn’t really believe they could do it in the first place. Their fears and lack of self-confidence get the better of them.

If you’re one of those people, ask yourself what you fear most: that you will never succeed in the goals you have set for yourself, or that you will fail? If you stop to think about it, the two are mutually exclusive. To succeed, you must run the risk of failure.

Visualize yourself as having achieved your goal. This exercise will make it more real, address any lingering fears you may have about pursuing it and help give you the incentive you need.

Action: Set a Goal and Follow it Through

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Michelle Biton, MSc (Holisitic Nutrition) is a health and nutritional coach who specializes in helping people create positive relationships with food. She can be reached at 604-617-3677 or by e-mail, michellebiton@mbcoaching.com. Web: mbcoaching.com.

Source: alive #243, January 2003

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