Stories We Live By
by author Gabor Mate, MD

For many people, the word "trauma" triggers images of terrible events afflicting the innocent: abuse, the death of loved ones, war, or natural disasters. The consequences of trauma on emotional health are well known and include mild to severe depression, anxiety, and panic attacks to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Few realize that for some people, trauma can trigger chronic stress and has a physiological effect on the body, predisposing them to illness.

Research shows that cortisol, a stress hormone, helps mobilize the body’s defences against threat but, if secreted in high amounts over the long term, it can undermine the immune system, thin the bones, and cause ulcers of the intestines, among many other effects.

Stories Passed From Generation to Generation

So sensitive are we to each other’s emotional states that the physiological effects of trauma can actually be passed from one generation to the next. In one study, elevated levels of cortisol were present in the children of Holocaust survivors. The greater the degree of PTSD of the parent, the higher the measurements of their children’s cortisol.

From the psychological and physiological points of view, it doesn’t matter whether the originating events were dramatic or the stresses that led to the altered emotional and physical states were quite subtle. What matters is the effect. Thus we have to recognize another form of "trauma," for which the word may not be completely appropriate - the trauma of something terrible occurring, but that of something good not occurring. When parents’ love and unconditional acceptance are missing or when a child feels they are missing - regardless of the parents’ true feelings and intentions - perceptions of being unworthy or unlovable may result.

The stories we tell ourselves when we believe these perceptions, consciously or unconsciously, can lead to mental and physical states that resemble post-traumatic symptoms. When things go wrong, we tend to get caught in negative thought patterns, self-recrimination, or chronic resentment toward others. We cast blame either on ourselves, or on others. Our minds are embittered or in a "tuned out" fog. Physically, we are tense and we feel poisoned by our own system. It feels toxic. We suffer.

Changing Your Story

We can rise above the consequences of trauma. It is possible to achieve a healthy and authentic mental-emotional balance that does not rely on "positive thinking," but is grounded in reality. How can we do this? The way to a truly positive state is to identify the stories we are living in. We must bring to full consciousness the negative perceptions, developed when we were children, or helpless and suffering, which still run our lives. When we do the work of really knowing what those stories are, and then gently relinquish them, we are no longer trapped. We are liberated from the past and the traumas that happened long ago.

Gabor Mate, MD, is a Vancouver physician and the author of two best-selling books: Scattered Minds: A New Look at the Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder (1999) and When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress (2003). His most recent work, Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Matter, has just been published (January 2004).

Source: alive #256, February 2004