Taking Care of the Caregiver :: Emotional and Mental Health

Taking Care of the Caregiver
by author Jacob Teitelbaum, MD

In our worry about very ill patients we often forget to care for those who look after them. Caregiver spouses are at risk of becoming sick themselves unless they take special effort to stay healthy and happy. Only then can they lovingly care for someone who is seriously ill.

As a caregiver spouse it’s important to take care of yourself so you don’t suffer mental and physical exhaustion. If you burn out, who will take care of the sick person? Here are some ways to find time for yourself so you feel better about the whole process of caregiving. I also offer a few ideas about how to make your patient more comfortable.

Sane not Saintly

We sometimes think it’s better to sacrifice and constantly give of ourselves even when it feels uncomfortable to do so. In fact we often feel guilty if we don’t do the things we don’t feel right doing. It’s time to let go of this way of thinking. Our actions need to take into account our own needs as well as those of the ill person. Doing things we don’t feel right doing can lead to burnout and illness. Getting sick yourself will not make someone else healthy but only add to their burden.

Instead, listen to your feelings. If something feels good, then by all means do it. If not, don’t! Ask for help. Perhaps someone else can lift your patient or bathe them–things you can’t or don’t want to do.

Keep Up With Your Own Life

You need to keep doing the things you enjoy so you don’t become resentful of the demands the ill person places on your time. Get outside help for several hours each week so you can get out of the house and have some fun. Depending on how sick the person is, they may be able to come out with you for part of the activity. For example, they may be able to sit by the lake while you jog around it. Find creative ways to maintain the activities that give you joy in your life.

If you weren’t in the picture, somebody would be taking care of the patient. Who would that be? Get them involved now.

Manage Your Patient’s Pain

Keeping the patient pain-free is good. It is also their right. Many pain symptoms do not respond well to conventional painkillers and narcotics. Increasing the dose often doesn’t help but instead may cause side effects. An extraordinary array of alternative pain treatment is available, from herbal remedies to massage to meditation. Investigate these alternatives to find options that allow your chronic care patient to remain pain-free.

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Jacob Teitelbaum, MD, is author of the best-seller From Fatigued to Fantastic (Avery, 2001) and Three Steps to Happiness: Healing through Joy (Deva Press, 2003). Vitality101.com.

Source: alive #270, April 2005

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