There’s something about being able to greet the day with a yawn, pull on your favourite summertime playwear, and just let your instincts carry you through the day…but then you remember–work.

Many of us can’t remember the last time we took a day to just chill out, hang with our pals, or be utterly aimless. If we missed a day of work, chances are it was because we were sick and sofa-bound, or had to take our dog to the vet. Big fun!

Let’s face it, our own enjoyment and our relationships with friends are the first thing to get crossed off our list when we’re busy with the other “life-size stuff” like family and work. How can anyone expect us to be productive members of society if we don’t blow off a little steam once in while?

Often, people turn to their partners for emotional support, entertainment, and what they used to call “positive strokes” back in the ‘70s (without even giggling). But asking one person to satisfy every one of your emotional needs is unrealistic–and not a little unreasonable.

When your only truly close relationship is with one person, you run the risk of stagnation, resentment, and just plain boredom. Wouldn’t it be better to have some new people to listen to your hilarious story about that guy on the bus? That’s when you need your friends.

Having trouble remembering what friends are? Friends are the people we used to spend all our time with as kids. They were the people of recess, of twilight road-hockey games, of preteen makeover slumber parties. They were the people with whom we lost track of time, the people who defended us against our enemies, who lent us their math homework and to whom, in return, we lent our favourite yellow shirt, which they promptly spilled ketchup on, but who we loved anyway.

Why not make a goal to reconnect with at least one friend this month? Maybe it’s someone you haven’t seen in 10 years and you’ll spend an entire night catching up on the phone. Or maybe there’s someone you like a lot, but you haven’t had a chance to really get to know. Invite her out for a movie and coffee.

Maybe you’re one of those rare and lucky grownups who has a whole bunch of friends. But when’s the last time all of you spent an entire day together? Sounds like a poker tournament or a pedicure party waiting to happen.

Don’t get hemmed in by the idea that you have to spend a lot of money to hang with your pals. Fun is something that often seems to have a dollar value attached, but the most memorable moments in our lives aren’t when we splashed out on the big vacation or the fancy night out. They’re the times we sat around laughing and playing goofy board games all night, or went for a stroll at sunset and talked about our wonderful plans for the future. We don’t hear about those experiences often enough, but that’s just because no advertiser’s figured out how to put a price tag on them.

Let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that you’ve read this far and you’re crying into your shirtsleeves because you’re one of those poor folks who hasn’t got a friend in the world. Maybe you’re the new kid in town, or maybe all your friends turned out to be creeps and you had to dump them. Hey, it happens. Consider yourself lucky in a bizarre sort of way–you get to start from scratch. It really is easy to find people who have common interests–poodles, philosophy, lawn bowling–but the hard part is committing to go to clubs and events and then actually walking up to someone and saying “hi.”

So, you’ve got your friends, and you’ve got some great ideas. You’re ready for fun. But everyone’s schedule is just crazy busy and So-and-So can’t meet until next October… In that case, it’s time for a collective play-hooky day. Go ahead, call work and tell them you have pink eye. Or that you ate some bad ham. Then kidnap old So-and-So right from the office and hit the beach. She’ll thank you later.

Jenn Farrell is a Vancouver writer and editor who swears that every time she's had pink eye or eaten bad ham, it's been the real deal--honestly.

Source: alive #298, August 2007